Team Cwoket?!?!
by MiyamotoJess
Summary: Gee, I've just noticed that all my stories are rated PG! Well, this one DOES have swearing in it. Ok, here's the deal. Team ROcket HQ are taken over by Jennys. Then J,J n M go looking for a new place for headquarters.
1. What Cheap Brick Can Do to Your Life

I was so puffed. I was tired. I was running around in the dark for gods sake! Surely James and  
Meowth were feeling the same way. It had been probably three hours straight of complete running.  
The entire police force of Viridian City were after us. And with saying us, I mean all of Team  
Rocket. The Headquarters had been revealed to the police force so we all had to evacuate the town.   
Everyone had split up in different directions so to confuse the enemy and hopefully lose track of them.   
Well that's all very well for the other people, but as always, James, Meowth and I were stuck being the  
stand-ins.   
"Curse those baka police crew!" I cursed to James. He took no notice and kept running. "Shi ne with  
you all! Do you hear me? SHI NE!" I screamed at the top of my lungs at the police.   
"SHUT UP JESSIE! D'YA WANT EM TA CATCH UP TA US?" Meowth scolded me. I scowled in return. But he was  
right, we had to find refuge. For what seemed like ages I kept running until James tapped me on my shoulder.  
He pointed towards the upcoming tree.  
We mimed to each other that we would hide in the hollow trunk until the police passed, then we could   
search for a better place to stay. As the tree came closer I grabbed Meowth and dashed as fast as my super long legs  
would carry me. I was the first to reach the tree. James soon caught up and ducked down. The police evntually  
passed.  
  
"Koitsu police!" I raged, kicking my feet at the side of the very tight tree. I struck it with my toe  
which instantly brought on a surge of pain. I crumpled to the floor hollering out in pain.  
"Come on Jess, it's been ages since da cops passed us. A tink it's safe ta find sumplace else," Meowth  
considered.  
"But my toe hurts," I pouted, crossing my arms over my chest.   
"Oh on ya don't! Just because you got a sore toe don't mean we gotta stay here all night!" Meowth countered.  
"Well I refuse to walk on this foot!" I snapped back.  
"DEN HOP ALREADY!!!" Meowth was beginning to lose his patience.  
"I'm not hopping you baka fuzzball!"  
"Well do sumtin cus I ain't sittin in sum Spinarak infested tree all night."  
"Did... you... say... Spinarak?" I twitched. I never did get on well with Spinarak. They creeped me out too.  
"Yeah," Meowth smirked. Then Meowth came up to me straight in the eye and did that spooky finger wavling thing,  
"Spinarak," he said in those creepy voice tones.  
"Ack! But I don't wanna put pressure on my toe!" I concluded.  
"Eh, James'll carry ya," Meowth pointed out.  
James, who had kept out of our conversation, er, arguement, smiled shyly and gestured that he would do anything  
for me. I reluctantly agreed and slowly crept out of the tree. As if by downright bad luck, it started  
raining.  
"Hmph, just our luck," I snorted. Nevertheless James picked me up and he and Meowth began looking for one of the   
forest Team Rocket cabins.  
  
The next morning seemed a little brighter. I rolled over my sleeping partner to see what time it was.  
10am. Hmm, earliest I've ever woken up. Figuring that I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, I got out of bed.  
I must have woken James up as he rolled over, his eyes open.  
"Morning bishojen," he wearily managed.  
"Morning bishounen," I replied.   
At that moment, I heard some voices approaching the front of our door. Figuring it was only Meowth's  
walkman, I thought nothing of it until the door banged open. It was team twerp! Both groups stood with their  
mouths wide open. Ash's face suddenly flashed a blinding red *ok ok so it wasn't iblinding/i but  
you get the pic*. That was when I noticed that James and I were in our undies *and bra for me*. James blushed  
even redder than Ash did I and blushed as red as my hair. Misty reached for the door handle and pulled it shut.  
As soon as that door had slammed shut I dropped down onto the bed, my mouth agape. James fumbled his clothes on  
then fetched my clothes from the closet. I hastily put them on.   
"Hey uh, Team Rocket? Are you uh, ifinished/i in there yet?" I heard Misty through the door.  
I snapped back a sarcastic remark then bravely stepped towards the door. Ash and Misty were sitting at the  
kitchen table.  
"I believe Jessie, that you and James were having a good haul in there?" Ash asked in those  
pish-poshy accent voices, while stiring a biscuit into his milo.  
"Oh grow up Ash! Stop acting like you're forty!" Misty barked.  
"Why Misty, why on this humble little planet known as earth are you shouting at me?" Ash accented innocently.  
Misty sighed and sweatdropped at James and I.  
"He gets this way sometimes," she excused. James sweatdropped.  
I sat down while James prepared breakfast.  
"So Jessie, why are you in this dear old cabin?" Ash asked, still stirring his biscuit in the milo.  
"Well, Ash, this is a Team Rocket cabin so I should be the one asking you why you're here,"  
I replied politly.   
"We thought it was just another regular old cabin," Misty expalined.  
"Oh well I guess we can accept that," I thought. "So which guest is with you now? Is it Brock or Tracey?"  
I asked, trying to change the subject.  
"It is Tracey, and he has sketched a rather ratherlous rather of a rather!" Ash brought up a pad with Tracey's  
recognisable sketches.   
His biscuit was now becoming saturated in milo, and the milo was now a mixture of drink and biscuit crumbs.  
On the pad were pictures of Houndour dashing across what looked like a cup, and a lot of indistinguishable  
lines of nothing.  
At that moment, Tracey came into the room. His entire body was covered in yellow ooze.  
"Oh my god Tracey! What happened?" Misty covered he mouth in surprise.  
Tracey admitted that he got cold and used Stun Spore as a blanket.  
"Well that was rather an amusing sight," Ash swirled his now soggy circle around some more.  
"Er, Ash, I think that biscuit's got enough milo on it..." Misty pointed out.  
Ash looked down at his crumbling piece of food, which instantly fell straight into his whole mug.  
"WWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY COOKIE RATHERLY FELL INTO MY HOT MUG OF  
BEAUTIFULLY MADE MILO!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH BOTHER THE WHOLE CRAP OF IT!" Ash dropped to the ground  
and held his hands to his head. He slowly crawled off to the spare room. Tracey meanwhile had joined in the 'game'  
and started running around in circles on the ground shouting out 'whoo whoo whoo whoo' *see the specific Simpsons  
episode, can't memba which one to find out exactly how he's sounding*.  
A few seconds later, Ash emerged from the room back into the kitchen. He grabbed another biscuit, this time  
one of those jam ones and sat down, and started dipping and swirling all over again. 


	2. They're on Their Way *from misery to hap...

"Hey, why aren't we fighting with you like we usually do?" Misty pondered as she munched on her   
pancakes.  
This was pretty strange, usually Ash would be on us in two seconds flat, shocking us to crapland   
with that  
stupid rat. Where was Pikachu anyway? I asked Ash where he was.  
"He ran off I think, probably thought I was too good a trainer for him!" Ash boasted.  
"You ain't a good trainer yer just a stupid show-off who gloats whenever he wins outta dumb luck!"  
Meowth  
came into the room.  
Ash turned red with rage. He and Meowth started fighting.  
"Now now there's no need to fight!" I broke up the fight. "Ash, you go have a shower then let  
Misty have a turn.  
James and I will go after you. Meowth, you go to your room and play with your pokenip or   
something,"  
I concluded. Meowth pouted then grumbled as he left.  
Ash went to the closet to get a towel then headed for the bathroom.  
"How long does he take in there?" James asked.  
"Not too long, normally he uses a fingerload of soap then gets out. But sometimes he does these   
silly  
poses in front of the mirror while doing a 'I'm-a-great-pokemon-trainer-and-I'll-be-a-pokemon-  
master-someday'  
speech," Misty answered giggling a bit.  
"Oh," I rested my head on my hand and raised an eyebrow. "And how do you know this?" I smirked.  
Misty blushed, realising her situation. "WHAT?! You're CRAZY if you think I've been in there with  
him!"  
Misty snapped. James and I laughed. Faintly, I could hear Ash making a speech.  
"I'm the worlds greatest pokemon master! Let me begin my saying which pokemon I have. Ahem,   
Articuno, Moltres, Suicune, Lugia, Mew and Pikablu!" Ash practically screamed.  
I could see why Misty knew so much.   
"Hey! He stole my fake pokemon sign!" James pouted.  
"What are you talking about James? You were never... oh yeah, my mistake, how could I forget that  
time?"  
Misty added. James blushed remembering how he'd dressed up.  
"Stupid puffy chest..." he mumbled.   
"Hey Jessie, James, I've been wondering why you aren't in your Team Rocket uniforms," Misty   
asked.  
I sighed. I really didn't want to tell her about our troubles but she could be able to help. God  
knows why she  
would want to though, but it was worth a try.  
"The Viridian City police force found out about the Team Rocket headquarters," I started.  
"Now we don't have any place to live except hiding out in these Team Rocket cabins. But that  
won't work  
for long because the police will probably find all of the cabins and eliminate them," I   
continued.  
"We really need help, but why should you help us? We've always been trying to steal from you,"   
James  
said sadly.   
Misty comforted him and said that she would do anything to help. "I'll convince Ash to help too,"  
she soothed.   
James and I smiled. We were both a little happier.  
Just then, a disgusting smell wafted up from the ground. It ponged! I looked down. It was Tracey!  
I'd forgotten he was still there.  
"Oops I tooted again. I let a big bang, my panties are stained. Oh baby baby. Oops please open a  
hatch, better light up a match! I ate asparagus," Tracey sang to the tune of 'Oops I Did it Again'.   
Ash came back from the shower dressed in his normal blue carpet and jeans. He instanly covered   
his nose and made a face.   
"Go away Trashey! You shtink!" Ash said through holding his nose.  
Tracey left the cabin and started digging a hole with his fingers.  
"WHAT NOW?" I shouted at him.  
"I'm digging a hole to get to the center of the earth!" Tracey beamed.  
I sweatdropped and shrugged.   
"Well I think we should get to work in finding a place for you to live. Maybe even make up a new  
place to set up Team Rocket Headquarters," Misty stood up.  
"But why do you wanna help us? AND make a new headquarters? It would only mean more   
frustration to your pokemon journeys," James hung his head.   
"Becaue I want to! Now quit whining James, we're helping you whether you like it or not!" Misty   
shot at us.  
I guess this twerp can be nice to us sometimes.   
  
"Ok I know why Misty, James and Me-owth are here, but why's Ash here?" Meowth asked.  
"Because I thought I might find some rare pokemon," Ash said.  
"And why's Tracey here?" Meowth asked again.  
"Because you guys needed an annoying person around," Tracey smirked.  
"And why's the annoying person over there following us here?" Meowth looked back to see Gary   
following.  
"Because I couldn't find anyone to babysit me," Gay stuck his toungue out.  
"And why's Delia here?" Meowth looked back to see Delia.  
"Because I couldn't find anyone to babysit," she answered.  
"Fair enough," Meowth rested, satisfied.  
Everyone kept walking.  
"Hey, your pretty cute!" Tracey came up to Delia and started slobbering all over her.  
"In your dreams," Delia snorted.  
"We'll se about that!" Tracey said excitedly then put his head back and started to doze off.  
'Hi cutie,' he sleep-talked. I rolled my eyes.  
  
"Hey what about the big orange? Team ROcket isn't bad there, except for Butch and Cassidy,"   
Ash pointed out.  
It wasn't a bad idea, considering that Botch and Crappidy had been kicked off the team.  
"What do you think James?" I asked.  
"Eh, I don't really care," he answered.  
All three Rocket members agreed to stay there. We would get a message on our rocket-phones as  
soon as the boss found another location for the headquarters. But for now we would stay on the island.  
  
A/N: Just for those picky people, I do know I spelt Gary wrong, hee hee, Gay. I LEFT IT THAT WAY CUS I HATE GARY!  
Please, no offense to those who ARE gay, and DON'T get started on James being gay, he AIN'T!!!!!! 


	3. I Choose You... Pokeball!

"Hey why don't we take a break?" James suggested. We were all working hard to fix up the run own cabin. We all dropped  
to the ground, a puffing heap.   
"What about Tracey? He hasn't done a THING all day!" I complained pointing to TRacey, who was sitting down at the stump of a tree  
sketching away.  
"You'd better be drawing something good!" Misty yelled and stood up to see what he was drawing. When she reached him she looked  
down and gasped. Then she started screaming at him and pulling at his hair! I decided to go over and see what was going on.  
"OH! YOU SICK PERVERT! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DREW THIS OH I HATE YOU SO MUCH *so many words missing here*!!!!!!!!!!"  
I squeled as well. On his pad were hentai pictures of Misty and I!!!!!! I was sooooooooo mad! I tore up the  
sketchpad and started throwing a fit. Misty joined in too. Half way through I kicked Tracey where it hurts most.  
He keeled over and started bawling.   
"ARE THOSE BOOTS MADE OF CONCRETE OR SOMETHING?!?!" Tracey wailed.   
"None, you're just weak. Must suck to be you," James answered.  
This sparked an idea in my head. I nodded to everyone else, then we broke into a song.  
  
-"Sucks to be you!" we sang.  
Tracey, still bending over squeaked, "I know I know."  
-"Sucks to be you!" we continued.  
"I know it's true," Tracey said.  
-Sucks to be you  
I know I know  
-Sucks to be you  
I'm a bastard, if it's true  
She did to me is what I did to you  
I'm a bastard if it's true  
And I guess it's true  
-Sucks to be you  
I know I know  
-Sucks to be you  
-I know it's true  
Sucks to be you  
-I know I know  
Sucks to be you  
-I know it's true  
You need to know I finally understand  
And I gotta get in touch with you now but I can't  
Just want to tell you I'm sorry  
I'm a bastard if it's true  
If the thing she did to me was what I did to you  
I'm a bastard if it's true  
And I guess it's true  
-Sucks to be you  
I know I know  
-Sucks to be you  
I know it's true  
-Sucks to be you  
I know I know  
-Sucks to be you  
I know it's true  
You need to know I finally understand  
And I gotta get in touch with you now but I can't  
I wish I could have made you happy  
But I'm a bastard  
-Oh oh oohh  
*some music appeared out of nowhere*  
I'm not saying that I wanted you to stay  
But tonight I feel like driving my car to LA  
Just so you can't see me crying  
Cos I'm a bastard if it's true  
Yeah, and I guess it's true  
-Sucks to be you  
-Sucks to be you  
I know it's true  
-Sucks to be you  
I know I know  
-Sucks to be you  
I know it's true  
-Sucks to be you  
I know I know  
-Sucks to be you  
I know it's true  
-Sucks to be you  
I know I know  
-Sucks to be you  
I know it's true  
  
We all burst out laughing. Though I would never forgive Tracey for doing THAT, I felt better.  
Tracey started whinging and ran off into the forest.  
"He'll be back," Ash shrugged.  
"Hope he doesn't," I whispered.   
I continued with my wheelbarrow work. After about fives minutes I arched my back and gave myself a small massage.  
My back hurt so bad. James came over to me and told me I should take a break. I didn't want to make everyone else do the work,  
as much as people think I'm selfish enough to do that. But my back hurt so much that I just had to sit down.  
"But surely I can do something?" I questioned. I couldn't just sit still and do nothing while watching everyone else being active.  
"I'M SO HUNGRY!" Ash whined.  
"You could cook for us," James suggested.  
I agreed, even though I'm terrible at cooking. Someone could tell me to boil water and I'd still stuff up!  
I gave it a shot anyway.   
  
I headed to the forest to get some mushrooms for our mushroom soup, at least I knew the basis for cooking that!  
After collecting a few I heard a rustling in the bushes. It seemed pretty big, I clicked Arbok's pokeball in case  
she was needed.   
"H hello?" I stuttered, my voice caught in my throat. Above the bush was a giant rock with the shadow of a dinosaur on it.  
I screamed! Just then, a tiny dinosaur approached me. It was a Tyran! One of the new pokemon. It was so cute!  
Some people may not think it's cute but I just so happen to think it is!   
"Tyyy!" the Tyran squeaked.  
"CUTIE! I gotta catch ya!" I said, getting those anime googly-eyes. I popped Arbok's pokeball back to normal and felt around for  
one of my spare ones. I finally grabbed it and prepared to throw when the Tyran started glowing.  
It was getting ready to evolve, and I didn't want to stand around when it finally DID evolve!   
I acted quick and as soon as little Tyran was evolved I instantly threw my pokeball at it, not giving it enough time  
to realise what was going on. Hopefully, it would still be in shock while the whole pokeball process was on.  
The pokeball rocked once, twice, SEALED! I had caught Tyran!  
"Oh silly me! Terexa now!" I stopped halfway inbetween my jump. I picked the pokeball up and tucked it where all my other pokeballs where.  
I picked up the basket of mushrooms again and started back to the cabin. 


	4. Team Rocket Goes Blasting Off for Once!

A/N: I warn you, this story's goin weird! I WARNED YOU MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!  
Thanx to Beth-san fer inspirin me!  
  
When I came back I saw that the cabin was fully smashed down! Ash, Misty, James and Meowth were trying to get it back up.  
Tracey was dancing around like a maniac screaming that he was so clever that he had knocked a cabin down.  
I ran up to him and kicked him several times. He crippled to the floor wincing. I started kicking him again  
in the exact same way as I was kicking James when I was sick with Stun Spore, only this time much harder.  
Then Misty started bawling and ran to the car. Ash ran after her. James and I followed.  
"Hey where are you going?" Gary smirked and said sarcastically.   
"I'm going to my dead mum's *tee hee, go ta Dee's Ii Kanji site and look at da flames ta see why Misty's  
parents are dead, and why jessie dont care bout miyamoto* friends, uncles, great great great grandmas,   
dads, brothers, friends, nieces, second cousins, friends, distant relatives, daughters, grandpas house in LA!"  
Misty blubbered.  
"But you can't drive Mist!" Ash countered.  
"That's right I can't. James is going to," Misty answered and made James put his foot on the pedal and started driving.  
"What was that for?" James yelled, in a sort of surprised way.  
"It was Milko now shut up and drive!" Misty sat back and finally let her tears flow.  
"Well she did say she was going to LA so they couldn't see her crying," I shrugged.   
  
Minutes later we were driving through water. I mean literally, we WERE driving to LA.  
  
"Wouldn't it be nice, if the world was cadbury,  
You could be a chocolate superstar.  
The referee would blow his chocolate whistle,  
A shot out goal would even break the bar.  
And if you went and scored a winner,  
You could take it home and eat it fooooooooor your dinner.  
Oh wouldn't it be nice?" Ash and I chanted.  
  
"You're weird!" Misty giggled.  
"Come on Mist! It's fun, you try!" Ash smiled.  
Misty blushed and turned away, she was still giggling.  
"We know you're laughing. Come on Misty, sing something!" I poked her.  
Misty turned around and finally gave in, she broke out singing;  
  
"What's all the fuss about?  
No need to scream and shout I'm just gonna sit and chill out.  
When it comes to you,  
Watcha gonna do?  
*I don't know the middle part here so just say that Misty's going on*  
Won't know how to getcha *sumthin sumthin*  
Cus it's all (repeat twice*  
GROOVY!" Misty sang.  
  
I clapped in a silly way. Ash stared, I glared back.  
  
"Alright, James' turn! You can sing alone or sing with someone else," I turned to James, who was still concentrating on his driving.  
James nodded. He pointed back at Ash, saying that he wanted to sing with Ash.  
  
"We're men, we're men in tights.  
We roam around the forest looking for fights.  
We're men, we're men in tights.  
We rob from the rich and give to the poor.  
That's right!  
We may look like sisies, but watch what you say or else we'll put out your lights!  
We're men, we're men in tights.   
Always on guard defending the peoples rights.  
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la  
We're men, manly men, we're men in tights  
YES!  
We roam around the forest looking for fights  
We're men, we're men in tights  
We rob from the rich and give to the poor that's right!  
We may look like pansies but don't get us wrong or else we'll put out your lights  
We're men, we're men in tights  
Tight tights  
Always on guard defending the peoples rights  
When you're in a fix just call for the men in tights!" James sang, with Ash following as backup.  
  
3hrs later, Ash, Misty, James and I found ourselves outside a tall house in LA. Somehow Meowth had met up with us  
along with all of Team Rocket! Mondo, Giovanni, everyone was there!   
"We've found a new headquarters location Jessie and James!" Mondo ran up to us started jumping around.  
"But there is one thing we've got to tell you," Ned slyly smiled.  
Ash cocked his head, Misty asked what it was. All of a sudden the house blew up and revealed another tall house, this time  
with a large yellow C on it.  
"Hee haw hee haw snot snort snot haw!" everyone in Team Rocket *besides Domino, James and I* bellowed.  
"We're in Cwoko Stupid Farm and we're going to attack you now!" Giovanni said. He stepped up to Ash.  
"But before I attack I have something to say," he began.  
Ash looked up at the tall mysterious man.  
"Ash," Giovanni stated, "I am your mother," he ended.  
Ash bublled out his cheeks trying to hold in his laughter.  
"Father! I MEANT FATHER!" Giovanni hastily corrected himself.  
I burst to tears of laughter, James and Misty did too.  
Misty, who was now finisahed laughing, looked over longingly at Domino. "You aren't going to attack us?" she asked.  
Domino shook her head in protest and ran and joined up with us.  
"DOMINO! You stupid aitsu," Mondo cussed.  
"Really Mondo, at your age you shouldn't be swearing!" I protested and clicked my pokeball open.  
"Goooo Terexa!" I shouted, sending my new Terexa into battle.  
Terexa roared ferociously.  
"Wow! A Terexa!" Ash whipped out his pokedex.  
'I don't like you. This is a Terexa, you know it is and I'm sick to death of being pulled out by you. I quit!  
I'm joining Cwoko,' the pokedex said statically then jumped out of Ash's hand and bobbed along to the crowd of the once infamous  
Team Rocket. Along the way it got overheated from hopping *which isn't what a pokedex is meant to do! You're pretty darn lame  
if you didn't know that!* and self-destructed, leaving a huge KABOOM!!!!!!! The explosion sent all of the Cwoko agents in the area  
blasting off to Pluto *how I knew this I wouldn't have a clue* where they seemed to have met Tree Reject. He self-destructed and  
sent them off again to the ocean, where they all drowned, but then unfortunatly came back to life as zombies.  
I explained all this to Ash, Misty, Domino, Meowth and James after calling Terexa back.  
"Woah! You're like a psycic Jessie!" James commented.  
"Eh, it's nothing," I responded and started walking towards the house.  
"Where ya goin? Dat's a Cwoko house," Meowth chased after me.  
"Well, Team Rocket, er, Cwoko Stupid Farm probably won't be back for a while so we can stay here. And with Jessie, James, Meowth  
and my strategic intelligence of setting traps, like that time Jessie, James and Meowth outsmarted you guys when they tried to steal those fire stones  
from those Arcanine, we can set traps for when they come back and just, do, stuff," Domino slowed down at the end.  
"Well heck! I don't know what I'm talking about, let's just go inside and get some rest," she sweatdropped and went along with me.  
"Well I'll go too, nothing else to do," James followed me.  
Ash and Misty came too, Meowth tagging along with them.  
"Hey I wonder what Brock's doing?" Ash wondered.  
"I dunno but who really cares?" Misty answered.  
"Hey guys, d'ya tink if Brock and Gary and crap are in Cwoko Stupid Farm we should call em by deir Cwoko names? I mean  
dere funnier dan dere original ones and..." Meowth stated.  
"Alright, their names are the Cwoko names, happy Meowth?" Domino smiled.  
"Oh and in case you havn't noticed, I'm joining you," Domino continued.  
"Yeah we know," Misty giggled.  
"Welcome to the team Domino!" Ash put out his hand. Domino took it and we all gave her a handshake.  
With that, we headed into the house to rest, for the upcoming day. 


End file.
